Peer Support Group
Many have experienced divorce, the death of a spouse, or personal loss. If you are going through these life challenges join us, Monday, October 16, 2108, 7PM
What is a “Peer Support Group?”
Persons who are separated, divorced, widowed, or ending significant relationships may find that even though they have friends or relatives who want to help, the most valuable support comes from sharing with others who have had similar experiences.
In a good peer support group, confidentiality is rigorously honored, advice-giving is absent, and understanding is abundant. It’s a safe space where everyone is given a chance to speak--or not to.
As the group becomes a more and more comfortable place, there can be new self-awareness through a level of honesty not common in other situations. New friendships develop around honest sharing. Those who thought they might never laugh again find themselves laughing. Those who thought their future was bleak find the courage to try--and enjoy--new things.
Social groups or online chats may be worthwhile, but a good peer support group can be the catalyst for new beginnings.
A Peer Support Group Testimonial
During the time when my life felt like being in the middle of tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, and tsunamis all at once, I clipped a Berke Breathed comic strip that began with a cute little toddler-type character exclaiming, “Oh my goodness! Mortimer!”
The second panel shows Mortimer with a whole car upside down on his head and stars all around him. Opus the Penguin joins them as Mortimer explains, “A ‘63 Volkswagen just landed on my head, slamming my spinal column well into my buttocks,” to which the toddler responds, “Good heavens!”
In subsequent panels, the little girl continues, “But you know what they always say: Don’t worry! Be happy! Things aaaaaalways look better in the morning! Laughter is the best medicine! Into each life a little rain must fall!”
Mortimer, with the car still on his head, announces, “You all know what I’m about to do!” followed by a huge CRUNCH and an OW!
In the final panel, Opus’s feet stick out from under the car, as Mortimer says, “Well, I couldn’t drop it on Her!" while Miss Helpful hollers to Opus, “Yoo hoo! When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!”
The reason I clipped and saved it, of course, was that I was hearing all those same platitudes--and a few more, like "Every cloud has a silver lining" and "When a door closes, a window opens" --from well-meaning friends and relatives. The one that I heard most often--and appreciated the least when I felt like there was nothing left of me but a puddle on the ground--was You've got to get on with your life (Yeah; right.)
There is truth in the platitudes, but hearing them in the midst of crisis did nothing to help me move ahead. What I found most helpful was when someone listened and understood --especially if they’d “been there” themselves. It was a relief to learn that others in my peer support group had similar experiences in the midst of life-shattering loss and grief. At least I wasn’t alone.
One memory stands out in my mind. In a group session, I was dealing with having to leave the home I’d lived in and loved for twenty years. On top of all the other changes, it was too much to bear. When I got done talking (“blubbering” is probably more accurate), a facilitator sat across the room just shaking her head. Finally she said quietly, “I’d forgotten how bad it was.”
That gave me more hope than anything else. If she’d lived through traumas just as painful as mine and had gotten to the point where it was hard to remember, then I could get there, too.
What is it that gives you the most hope? What helps you to grow, and what holds you back?
What is a “Peer Support Group?”
Persons who are separated, divorced, widowed, or ending significant relationships may find that even though they have friends or relatives who want to help, the most valuable support comes from sharing with others who have had similar experiences.
In a good peer support group, confidentiality is rigorously honored, advice-giving is absent, and understanding is abundant. It’s a safe space where everyone is given a chance to speak--or not to.
As the group becomes a more and more comfortable place, there can be new self-awareness through a level of honesty not common in other situations. New friendships develop around honest sharing. Those who thought they might never laugh again find themselves laughing. Those who thought their future was bleak find the courage to try--and enjoy--new things.
Social groups or online chats may be worthwhile, but a good peer support group can be the catalyst for new beginnings.
A Peer Support Group Testimonial
During the time when my life felt like being in the middle of tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, and tsunamis all at once, I clipped a Berke Breathed comic strip that began with a cute little toddler-type character exclaiming, “Oh my goodness! Mortimer!”
The second panel shows Mortimer with a whole car upside down on his head and stars all around him. Opus the Penguin joins them as Mortimer explains, “A ‘63 Volkswagen just landed on my head, slamming my spinal column well into my buttocks,” to which the toddler responds, “Good heavens!”
In subsequent panels, the little girl continues, “But you know what they always say: Don’t worry! Be happy! Things aaaaaalways look better in the morning! Laughter is the best medicine! Into each life a little rain must fall!”
Mortimer, with the car still on his head, announces, “You all know what I’m about to do!” followed by a huge CRUNCH and an OW!
In the final panel, Opus’s feet stick out from under the car, as Mortimer says, “Well, I couldn’t drop it on Her!" while Miss Helpful hollers to Opus, “Yoo hoo! When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!”
The reason I clipped and saved it, of course, was that I was hearing all those same platitudes--and a few more, like "Every cloud has a silver lining" and "When a door closes, a window opens" --from well-meaning friends and relatives. The one that I heard most often--and appreciated the least when I felt like there was nothing left of me but a puddle on the ground--was You've got to get on with your life (Yeah; right.)
There is truth in the platitudes, but hearing them in the midst of crisis did nothing to help me move ahead. What I found most helpful was when someone listened and understood --especially if they’d “been there” themselves. It was a relief to learn that others in my peer support group had similar experiences in the midst of life-shattering loss and grief. At least I wasn’t alone.
One memory stands out in my mind. In a group session, I was dealing with having to leave the home I’d lived in and loved for twenty years. On top of all the other changes, it was too much to bear. When I got done talking (“blubbering” is probably more accurate), a facilitator sat across the room just shaking her head. Finally she said quietly, “I’d forgotten how bad it was.”
That gave me more hope than anything else. If she’d lived through traumas just as painful as mine and had gotten to the point where it was hard to remember, then I could get there, too.
What is it that gives you the most hope? What helps you to grow, and what holds you back?